A Day That Changed Everything
Picture this: You are driving down the highway, it’s a bluebird day, and your partner is happily chatting away from the passenger seat. You are enjoying the feel of the AC on your skin and the small jokes your partner is throwing your way. Suddenly, a sharp pain shoots through your chest, and you get this horrible certainty that your time is up. What would you do?
Unfortunately, incidences like this were not all that uncommon for me. This is not a heart attack—it’s a panic attack. Like many before me, and I am sure many after, I tried to ignore it. I had already been told in the past what I was experiencing. Surely some controlled breathing and rational thought could beat this thing, right? Dead wrong. It did not take long for Terryn to notice or for me to end up pulling over and swapping places with her.
Recognizing the Final Straw
While this was not a novel experience for me, it was the final straw. I was coming up on my second year of schooling; I couldn’t afford to let this get worse and interfere with our plans. I booked in with the counselor at the college. Even though I now recognize some of the pitfalls and challenges of that conversation—I can still feel the memory of outraged incredulity at this counselor’s recommendation that I try walking. I had poured my fears and insecurities out to this guy, and all I got in response was him telling me to “walk it off.” At the time, it felt dismissive.
Frustration and Reflection
Only later did I realize that his advice, though frustratingly simplistic, might have been the best he could offer with the limited clarity I gave him. After leaving his office, it took me roughly another five years before I tried to seek help again. My problems did not go away, though I did become quite skilled in the art of denial. It wasn’t a problem that my attacks developed to the point I no longer wanted to sleep, that I was afraid of the horrific hallucinations I would wake up to alongside the certainty of death. You don’t need to perceive your jacket as a man standing over your wife with a shotgun if you stay up all night playing video games, right?
Lessons in Communication
Had I known—when first meeting that counselor—how clearer communication could shape the outcome, I might have avoided years of suffering. But what I learned along the way has taught me that even small changes in how we ask for help can make all the difference.
The Power of KISS
A Lesson in Simplicity
If you have read my post on responsibility, you may have already realized this isn’t a rant aimed at the counselor. In fact, when considering his advice from the context of someone immersed in a health stream that champions mindfulness and belonging to a community obsessed with outdoor recreation as a cornerstone of well-being, it was actually pretty solid general advice. But that leaves me wondering: was the proposed solution generic because he didn’t understand my problem, or because of how I presented it to him?
The Consequences of Overwhelming Complexity
I am not a counsellor; my expertise is not in guiding people through the many complex issues of the mind. So, I cannot truly judge the competence of my ex-counsellor, but I can examine my own role in the conversation—how my approach to our brief relationship left me feeling both unheard and misunderstood. I’m sure you’ve all heard of KISS. It’s a classic for a reason. Its applicability across all aspects of life, in my opinion, is exquisite. ‘Keep It Simple, Stupid’—allegedly coined by an aircraft engineer in the 1960s, Kelly Johnson—reminds us that problems are often best handled when unnecessary complexity is removed.
When I think back to that session with my counsellor, I can see now that I overwhelmed him with a wall of symptoms without providing clarity or focus. This made it much harder for him to offer advice that felt specific and actionable. Had I applied the principle of KISS and distilled my concerns into a structured, straightforward explanation, the conversation might have taken a very different course.
Clarity Unlocks Care
Consider for a moment the finite amount of time we have with a health professional. Especially during a first session, you may only have 15 to 30 minutes to outline your concerns, leaving time for treatment and homecare recommendations. That’s why it’s crucial to make the most of those precious minutes by communicating effectively.
When I spoke to that counsellor, I unloaded a wall of symptoms on him, but I failed to express the root of my concerns in a way that was easy to understand or act upon. While guiding patients toward clarity is part of a health professional’s role, my experience has taught me that it’s no simple task. Sometimes, it can feel like trying to wrestle a 2,000lb bull into its pen with nothing but a pair of chaps and some gumption!
Help Them Help You
This is where preparation can make all the difference. Before stepping into that room, take a moment to reflect on your main issue, its context, and what you’ve tried so far. By framing your concerns clearly and concisely, you not only make the professional’s job easier, but you also increase the likelihood of receiving advice and solutions tailored to your specific needs.
It’s a simple but powerful shift: presenting clear, specific concerns not only respects the professional’s time but also paves the way for more tailored, actionable advice. By breaking my issue into smaller, manageable pieces, I could have set the stage for a more productive conversation. This realization leads me to the importance of KISS as a vital tool for navigating our health journeys.
Practical Steps to Simplify Communication
When it comes to conversations with health professionals, clear and concise communication can transform the quality of the help you receive. While this might sound straightforward, it’s not always easy to distill complex emotions or health concerns into simple terms—especially when stress, fear, or frustration are in the mix. Fortunately, there are strategies you can use to make sure your concerns are heard and understood, setting the stage for more productive and tailored solutions.
To ensure you’re not only heard but truly understood, it helps to take an active role in guiding the conversation. By simplifying how you present your concerns, you’ll open the door to more effective collaboration and better solutions.
Prepare Before Going In
Before going to your appointment. Sit down and write out all your symptoms and concerns. Now choose one of these to focus on. This is not to say you should not tell your practitioner about the other symptoms. But by focusing mostly on one symptom, you make it easier for your practitioner to identify patterns, pinpoint potential causes, and develop targeted advice/treatment—all without losing sight of the bigger picture.
1. When did it start?
2. What makes it worse?
3. What makes it better?
4. Has this happened before?
Be Direct
Good health professionals recognize that their sessions are for you. They do not take things personally – most are focused on trying to get you what you need as effectively as possible. Rehearse what your concern is – and then tell the healthcare provider what you are hoping for from them. For example: Are you wanting exercises? Do you just need something explained? Is there something you know has helped in the past? A health provider may tell you if they have concerns with your expectations or desires. But it should be done in a way that allows you to understand the perceived risk or barrier so an alternative can be discussed – or you can decide to go ahead with treatment anyway, if possible. The clearer you are about what you’re seeking – whether it’s guidance, reassurance, or specific interventions – the easier it is for your provider to meet you where you are.
Be an Active Patient
This is your health, this is your treatment, this is your life. Health and Wellness is complex – the research is mostly only capable of giving us good ideas on risk and probability. This means the answers to your problems are more often shades of grey than many might like to believe. You are lucky indeed if your circumstances are such that you can receive a truly binary solution. This means it is vital that you are coming in looking to actively collaborate with your provider. Give them clear guidance on your problems. Provide feedback on how you feel you are responding. Ask for clarity when you are uncertain.
If you do not communicate, and instead expect your practitioner to read your mind – I’m sorry, but you are asking for a bad experience. Some might not like to hear this, but if you don’t talk to your provider – chances are you wont get what you are looking for. Think of your healthcare journey as a partnership – When you actively engage, ask questions, and offer input, you’re working together to build the best possible outcome.
By preparing, communicating clearly, and engaging actively, you can transform your conversations with health professionals into meaningful, productive partnerships. With the KISS principle as your guide, you’re not just simplifying your concerns—you’re paving the way for better understanding, better care, and better health outcomes.
The Importance of Owning Your Health Journey
Navigating your health is no small task, and feeling misunderstood by your health team can be discouraging. But by applying the principles we’ve explored—preparation, directness, and active engagement—you can transform your role in these conversations. It’s not just about being heard; it’s about building meaningful partnerships that empower you to achieve your goals.
Looking back on my own journey, I can see how the simple act of distilling my concerns into clear, manageable pieces changed everything. It’s not always easy to step back and simplify when stress and emotions are running high, but it’s in these moments that the KISS principle truly shines. By keeping it simple, I’ve learned to guide the conversation in ways that have helped me receive the care and understanding I needed.
Since my break-up with that counselor, I’ve worked hard to refine my communication skills, and the difference has been remarkable. One moment that stands out is from 2024, when I sat down with my GP to address a particularly frustrating concern. “I am struggling to stay on top of my medication. I feel the issue is due to the cost. Knowing that my pills are taking up such a large portion of our budget has me avoiding them.” This gave my GP a specific issue to tackle. She quickly informed me of a possible grant available to me and applied for it. Within a month, I was paying just $1 per month for my ADHD prescription.
Your health is worth fighting for, and learning how to advocate for yourself is one of the most powerful tools you can develop. With a little preparation and the courage to communicate, you can ensure your voice is not only heard but valued. The path to resilient health is not always straightforward, but with the right approach, it can be one of the most rewarding journeys of your life.
